4 Fuks Saké

Information v Intelligence

What do you get if a cross a Tory cabinet minister with a French new wave cinema starlet? Ordinarily a court order – but in this instance, something thought provoking.

First, Jeremy Hunt – a man not shy of a camera and a headline – has gone and done a Diana. The Health Secretary has got himself a surgical gown, a pair of latex gloves and a freelance photographer; and distributed images of himself working as a shift nurse in an A&E unit. (Presumably not one of the 14 underperforming hospitals earmarked in last week’s review).

Hunt’s angle though is admirable. How is he supposed to tackle thousands of complaints he receives over citizens’ treatment in the hands of the NHS without working on the front line himself? Cristina Odone in the Telegraph makes the point crisply: “The only way to learn is to do.” Correct (to a point).

Yes, we can learn by experience. Another way to learn is to convert information into knowledge.

Astrid Berges-Frisbey (pictured for reference) is the 27 year old French-Spanish actress and star of Juliette. Juliette – according to The Guardian – is the latest in a new wave of European films that depicts the stories of life for young people living against a backdrop of austerity and Eurozone meltdown.

The “grey-eyed and chain-smoking” actress (presumably not Lambert & Butler) looked out of the window wistfully and said, “We have more tools, more choices, and yet we live as if constantly paralysed.” Spot on love, (I’d say if I were her agent or northern).

In short, what she is hinting at is an argument being put forward by many others – including Baroness Greenfield. Her view is that our brains are beginning to function differently. Our click-click, always online, never satisfied information gathering is relentless, without allowing it to pause, permeate and be converted into knowledge (in the way that traditional education via reading and study, does). We sit smoking fags looking out of windows flicking an iPhone pouring thousands of images into our brain, but less and less of it is sinking in.

In short, what Hunt, Berges-Frisbey and Greenfield are showing us is that we’d do well to recognise the difference between information and intelligence. Getting a grip of Twitter and your RSS feeds is all well and good – but what you do with it is what counts.  

Snacked To Death

Hectoring cabinet ministers and your gran have always promoted the virtues of three square meals a day. Get yourself a good nutritious blend of protein, carbohydrates and whatever’s in broccoli. Good nourishment, leads to a healthy body and mind. 

Just don’t snack.

All we want to do is snack. We want snack-sized content intravenously dripped, 19 hours a day. Pictures please, with as little copy as possible. News stories no more than 100 words. Is a 15 second video clip or a 6 second video clip the best length? Feed me loads of this stuff whenever there’s a gap in the day.

The phrase ‘snack-sized content’ is utterly ubiquitous in marketing and content forums. There is a nuancing to ‘snack-sized’ content though, that brands attempting to woo punters into their domains would do well to adhere to.

There is unhealthy snacking of course. Tessa Jowell tells you not to eat crisps and biscuits but you know – you’re drawn to the cupboard. Beer brands know it. Exion’s research tells us that whether we like it or not, blokes can’t resist visuals of chests or some mild misogyny.

Pick up the Sunday Mirror supplement this weekend and flick to the lifestyle pages. You’ll find something in there about good, regular snacking. “Feeling peckish? Try a handful of nuts and pulses” is the answer every weekend if you can’t wait for your lunch of skinless chicken and a glass of tap water.

Smart brands spot the smart snackers. Busy, well-informed, nimble, researched-to-the-back teeth punters who dart from bite-sized gobbets of content to form an overall picture of a company, brand or product. Is this revolutionary product any good? A fleet-footed nip across a variety of social networks captures dozens of well-articulated opinion in a matter of minutes.

At the end of the day, we are what we consume. Rubbish food and content leads to rubber bodies and brains. Brands that succeed respect their customers in the new social channels. Those that combine pace with intelligence and empathy for their customers – via the vehicle of ‘snack-sized content’ - will ultimately prevail.

Work. Produce. Make Money.

A creative director quits and £40m is wiped off the value of a company. This is no egotistical bell-end packing up his moleskin and flouncing off for a Nicaraguan flat white. It’s Emma Hill of Mulberry who called it a day last month. Hill’s departure indicates the value in real terms – of real creativity. Of creating real products with real value.

In an interview last year, Hill said; “I’m from Wales and my family are bakers and miners, people who did things with their hands.” Ask Hill what she does and I suspect she’ll say “I make handbags.” You produce something, someone else values it, and they exchange money. Her arrival at Mulberry in 2008, heralded a five-fold increase in its share price.

Hill’s words and actions have a purity and a clarity about them that the marketing and communications sectors could learn from. Conferences, round tables and essays grapple with measurement and evaluation of campaigns – but it may be better to start at source and be a little clearer with what it is we are attempting to achieve, doing and producing in the first place.

I was once introduced to a female friend’s new boyfriend. She teed him up with the words: “he’s not that bright. He doesn’t have a job like yours.” The bloke was an aviation engineer, and tweaked freshly landed 747s at Heathrow before they flew out again. Pretty smart, and pretty clear I reckon. I’d certainly value that product. On the flipside, on any given day, I could counter with “I’m a strategist, a planner, a managing partner, a social media consultant, a content producer, experiential marketer or brand partnership consultant.” No-one in the real world has any idea or interest in what I’m talking about.

There are two elements to what we – as in you and me operating in this industry bubble -  do. We create demand and we create sales.

Walk into an Ogilvy office anywhere around the world and you’ll never be more than a minute’s walk away from a “We sell or else,” quote. Businesses only walk through the doors of agencies to grow their own businesses – no other reason. So if you can’t articulate how you’re going to grow a business, you’re unlikely to be much use to them.

Second, we create demand. This is where we learn from Emma Hill and start using our hands. Nothing can be said to be certain in this world other than death, taxes, Google and bullshit. If someone tells me that this is the best thing since sliced bread, I’ll be searching online and very quickly I'll find out whether I'm being bullshitted. What I need to find are things that make me go ‘wow’ or ‘hmmm.’

So we – the agencies - need to make those thingswith our hands. An app here. A film there. Something that makes your life easier when you’re about. Something that demonstrates what a brand or a product can do for me, when I’m hunting for info or sat on my arse on the sofa. In short, we make things that sell products. All we need now is a trade union, and the reintroduction of statutory fifteen minute tea breaks. 

(Pic: Kat B on Flickr)

Clarks Give The Rest A Shoeing

(Clarks and others brands in less 'meaningful' use). 

The 2013 edition of Havas Meaningful Brands is out today. It operates on a simple premise. Brands that make things better, lives easier, give you a bit of fun, or make your Mum happier will sell more stuff. Here is a shit load of smart methodology and research that proves it.

In the UK Clarks are in at number one, and an eyebrow raising ASDA at 3. (If you will set your stall out to drive prices as low as you can go, then expect to be popular).

Tuck in to the global and UK lists, plus a hub on The Guardian.

Into The Confectionery Stall And Out Again

I lost both my grandfathers by the age of seven. Today I formally request that Richie Benaud takes on the role. There is nobody out there in the aged 80+ bracket that I would rather turn to for professional, personal or spiritual advice.

If you have a job that requires you to communicate, I recommend listening to BBC’s Voices Of Summer now on iPlayer. In it, Richie explains how he goes about television cricket commentary.  If you have to carry a room of people with you to get something done, then the advice is equally valid.

Typically, he delivers his advice from the perspective of what he has learned from others. Professional, understated, but utterly in command of his craft.

If you’re not interested; “Welcome to the highlights,” as Richie would say.

- “Use as few words as possible. The best supply a caption to a picture. ”

- “Never ask a statement. Too many times I hear a statement that ends with ‘isn’t it?’ or ‘doesn’t it?’”

- "Never use the phrase 'Of course.'"

- “Always remember the value of the pause,” (taught to him by Australian PM Bob Menzies).

- “Never talk down to people.”

- “Don’t take yourself too seriously.”

- “Always have fun.”

Marvellous.

"Do Me A Favour Instagram. Oh, You Have."

5 times a week I'll use the phrase 'Oh for fuck's sake." It's been eight months since I've done that and then felt compelled to write something on my blog with the same name. It's Instagram again.

I refer you to my April post, about Silicon Valley entrepreneurs' ingenuity at duping people who wear expensive trainers for their own commercial gain. This week, they've said they're going to sell photos of your kids to McDonalds, who'll in turn advertise Big Macs. That's what I've understood it to be anyway. 

Four things.

1. This bloke nails it, citing this collective sense of self-delusion. Search #coffee and look: there's your shot of a latte, filtered in Hudson, alongside 450,000 others. 

2. Your photo was rubbish. Instagram made it look nicer, so much so, that you felt compelled to share it with others. As far as I'm aware, you haven't paid them since you opened your account.

3. Instagram have been stupid. The more avid a user of social media you are, the greater your propensity to attention seek. So attention seekers (their core audience) pour through social T&Cs with the meticulousness of a Manhattan lawyer. They do it for their own benefit, not the crowd. I don't believe Facebook and Instagram want to sell pictures of my kids to Exxon, nor do I think lawyers will allow them to. If they can, who's the bell end for putting them there in the first place? Howevere, if they want to sell pictures of my uncooked ribeyes or empty espresso cups, that's a fair deal for me.

4. If you don't like it, vote with your feet. Go to Flickr's new app or the next photo sharing network you've yet to hear of. They'll end up doing the same thing to you.

"Hey Guys, I'm A Bit Uncomfortable You Made A $1bn. Let's Have A Diet Coke And Talk."

I've held an opinion for a while that a large proportion of people working in social media had sand kicked in their faces at school. Technology has always been 'nerdy' and there is a revelling in the outsider term 'geek.' Naturally, social media in its infant years attracted the types who worked their way up from Star Wars figures through to circuit boards. 

Woe betide anyone that leaves the geek crowd and gets accepted by the in crowd. Backs will be turned.  

Like Instagram. They had the audacity to take $1bn off Facebook. They have "sold out."  People get fucked off and talk of betrayal. The issue seems to be that:

a) They took money off the big enemy, Facebook.

b) That Instagram made the user feel special and important, and now they don't.

I would suggest the following.

1. People come up with ideas and go to work to try and make money. That includes the founders of Instagram, Twitter, Pinterest, Facebook, and whatever a couple of people in San Francisco are working on right now, that we'll fall in love with later this year or early next.

2. People with relaxed dress codes, white teeth, and nice smiles from California, are adept at making geeks feel special. Like the Instagram "guys" pictured. Wouldn't you just love to have a Diet Coke with them? They give them things to play with. Coax personal information out of them to make money, and then persuade them to promote the whole process.

3. If someone makes $1bn out of something like nice pictures of babies, cats and food - rather than oil or guns, then that's a good thing. 

4. If you are uncomfortable with Instagram making money in the social media industry, stop doing it yourself. Stop walking into publications and/or businesses asking for much smaller amounts of money to advise on how to use Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest etc...to make money. 

5. If you don't like Facebook, delete your account.

Congratulations to Instagram. I love your product, I love your work, and I'm glad you're making money. As Paul Carr, said "They didn't sell out, they just sold. They're a company, not the fucking Rolling Stones."

 

The Football Map Of London

I like this. From here. 

Tesco. Fat And Knackered.

I think they’re in trouble. Well, I say trouble. Tesco announced profits of £3.7bn in the UK this morning so they’re hardly in shit. More than we made last year. 

That said, shareholders aren’t going to take too kindly to days when the share price drops 16%.

The headlines say the supermarket's Christmas campaign failed to entice shoppers into store. This won't be a marketing issue, but an operational one. This is a company that is massive, bloated and listless. Its non-food businesses have done bonkers numbers in the last few years, and now occupy enormous acres of floor space. The shrinking core food business retracts apologetically, literally in front of the eyes of customers.

Its massive bloatedness and no doubt hideous bureaucracy, will be hampering clear thinking and communication. Its nearest and dearest rivals remain crystal in the conscious of the public. ASDA – price. Sainsbury’s – value. Waitrose – posh. Lidl/ALDI – cheap. Tesco? Huge and "I don’t know where everything is."

For a large of the population that’s the level of decision-making as the keys go into the ignition.

You've got to feel for CEO, Philip Clarke - the Wilf McGuinness to Sir Terry Leahy's Matt Busby. They’ve got a few issues in there, and they're not going to be fixed in a quarter. 

Pic: MrLomo/Flickr

A Nice Film About A Place I Used To Live